My coaching series today is about Goals.

I find some people fear them or they set non specific goals.

But.. clients who use more specific verbiage like this
“I want to get back down into my size 10 jeans.”
“I want to build my glutes.”
” I want to be able to get down on the floor and play with my kiddos.”
“I want to do 5 pull ups on my own.”

For our IIFYM frens!!  One of our athletes has a bomb blog so look check it out!

https://www.brookecochran.com/post/iifym-taco-bell-the-best-taco-seasoning

Did you ever wonder why some people act the way they do?  Are some people a mystery to you and you don’t know what to do with them?  Do you know why YOU do the things you do?

I do. I know now. But I didn’t know and it was causing me a world of problems!!

This blog is going to explain how I worked this out and it was a total game changer. Stay with me.  I want you to look at my title and realize that I do not want you to take advantage of other people.  I want you to understand how to work with people better and that is very helpful to everyone!!

I found this pod cast from Tony Robbins called Why we do what we do.
You can listen to it and see the entire breakdown of the plan here. 

Here’s how it worked for me.
Tony explains that most people’s basic needs are  (in no particular order)

6. Contribution

Each one of these needs can be fulfilled with 
Positive behavior
Neutral behavior
Negative behavior

Think on this for one moment.  
A person who’s put their top basic needs will do everything to get those needs met.
If someone has a need for Uncertainty, variety , chaos

They could fulfill that positively by planning interesting things to do.
Meeting new people or learning new skills.  Spending time with different groups of friends or people. Searching for new music, maybe…

Neutral would be neither positive or negative.. just switching things up during the day so it’s not the same old same old..

Negatively, seeking relationships outside their primary one.  Looking for ways to disrupt others lives. Blowing people up.  Blowing one’s self up.

Here’s one I see a lot in my work:  Top needs is Security/comfort/Certainty: I see many clients using food to comfort!!  Because they come to me, stress eating, or ‘eating their feelings’  we can assess that they are neither using positive or neutral behaviors to fulfill that need.  My goal with them is to help them to understand this and hopefully they can work on positive or neutral behaviors for that top level needs.

So sit down for a moment and order your needs. Your needs may not be the same year after year.  You may evolve. Your top needs though.. probably have been the same all along.

I gave you two visuals here.

When I do check ins for clients, I often get these statements.
“I missed a workout, I feel so guilty.”

“I was so exhausted this week, now I’m beating myself up for going to yoga instead of lifting.”

“I feel guilty, guilty, guilty for everything that I did not do because I’m not perfect and I know I need to work harder and longer and I’ll never get abs because I suck as a human and my workout didn’t go for 3 hours”.

Ok, that last one.. nope.. But you see what I mean, right?

Story: Several years ago , I was with a coach who did not give a shit about health. She knows it. I know it. I’m just putting it out there because this story went badly.
For a bikini competitor to abuse themselves 7 days a week to get to stage is ridiculous. It’s beyond ridiculous.  I was eating next to no carbs, no fats and was sick as can be through my whole prep. You can read how that horror story went here. 

There was one day that I had an upper respiratory infection and was in bed and on a
Z Pack for the second time. I lay in my bed, mourning my show which was a good 13 weeks out. I lay there feeling like a failure because I was sick and got the instruction to get my workout done no matter what.

I got up and did it .  I kept doing it sick as a dog because the training was the most important thing.

Ok, first of all.. I came in like shit in that show.  I was incredibly ill and should have dropped out like a logical human would do so .. while I’m not blaming anyone else.. I kept going on my own accord because “I don’t quit”.   I don’t quit shows. But I should have and when my doctor told me to, I didn’t listen either.  So yep.. that’s on me.

But, here’s what I want to say to you..

Recovery is critical to our programs!! RECOVERY is where we rejuvenate.  Recovery is where our body changes!!  Recovery is where we heal when we are sick. All that energy we are using to “kill that workout” could be healing our bodies.

If you are training, you might hear words like Biggest Loser person, Jillian yells at her clients.  GET UP, GET UP.. GET UP.. 

What I am here for is longevity and you should be too.  Burning out, getting injured, and remaining unwell has zero to do with health.  Being a fit girl means being  consistent, healthy, strong and part of that equation is recovery and rest .

Social media shows us as, if you are not kicking ass 100 percent of the time you are losering it up. There is someone out there who looks better, is faster or has a better body.  There always will be. But, I’m here to take care of this body and create the best game plan for what I want to accomplish.

If you want to be the best at pull ups, then you will train for that sport. It will include work days and recovery days.

If you are training for handstands, you will have balance days, strength time, and flexibility work in with your recovery days.

The brain game: Simply because YOU determined what failure looks like gives you license to self abuse when your body is telling you otherwise. When your body talks to you, listen. Feeling that you need an additional rest day is like a sweet craving for veggies. “Hmmm…  I wonder if I’m missing  some nutrition???”

If you view your plan as static with no fluidity, you leave zero room for YOU to understand what your body wants and needs.

As I have gotten older, or maybe because I train with more intention and am doing more aerial.. I need more recovery. I feel it in my soul.  Being “sore” isn’t’ the reason I take an extra rest day.. I actually understand what my body is saying.  That day I was lying in my bed sick, my body wanted to recover.  I probably would have gotten well faster and been able to put more into my training as a well individual.

Goals I have on this subject:
When I’m ready to train, I fuel like it’s my job. I’m focused on my workout and give my highest level of effort.
Being lazy or slacking isn’t the same as needing to recover.
I log my recovery days in my Trainerize because they are critical to my plan.
I take my rests during my workouts as designated.
If my body requires an extra rest day or two, I take it.
I practice de-loads regularly.
I do not compare my lifts with others.
I do not compare my physique with others.
I practice workouts that allow me to be consistent vs extreme and over-trained.

Story:  I just finished a pole show case. I worked really hard on some tricks that were actually very difficult for me. My body was in a lot of pain post show so I took a full 2 weeks off.  I was shocked at the changes I got when I came back. I felt like a new human. I still maintained some of my lifting but I stayed off the pole.  Now when I am doing those tricks, they feel fluid and wonderful.  I needed that time to rejuvenate.

Negative head space: I cover this a lot in my blog. Instead of using terms of
Good or Bad ,we are working this year on saying
“Is this helpful for my plan or not helpful”.

“Today I feel good”
Training will be helpful for my plan.

“I feel like adding in an extra day of cardio behind my coaches back because I feel fluffy.”
Is that helpful to the plan or not helpful? Where did that come from?  Helpful would be to follow your coaches plan not listen to negative self talk.

“Today, I feel horrible, tired. I have to go to the gym. UGH, I don’t want to.”
Helpful would be to look at taking today as a rest day and rearranging your plan.
I do that all the time!!  If you went to the gym, would you feel better? Are you feeling like not going or is your body needing rest?

Everything comes down to being sustainable, creating longevity in your training. Working at your highest level of effort. Living your life so you are happy and not feeling bad about yourself because you missed a lift.  More lifts aren’t better. Better lifts are better!!  Lift, recover.  Eat to fuel. Sleep.  Rest your mind.  Listen to your body.

If I had a client who was 13 weeks from a show with an upper respiratory infection I would ask her to be kind to her body. I would ask her to rest and assure her that health is first.  When she felt better we’d get back in gear but be mindful of how she was feeling.
I would help her understand that once she was recovered, she will feel better, train harder and continue to rock her plan.

I would ask her to use her recovery time wisely.  I’d like to see pics of bikinis. I’d like to see her think of the positive things she’s accomplished. I like to see her ideas for her stage package and maybe a vision board on Pinterest to keep her motivated and offer her positive movement forward for her show.   If she’s not into that, then have her track her recovery days as part of her plan so we can use them positively.

Workout thoughts: Did I say to slack or that extreme training is bad? Nope.  I believe in freaking hard work. I also believe smart training is very effective.   I believe you can get more out of your training if you are treating your body well.  Self abuse in exercise, negative self talk and guilt is useless towards reaching goals.  Daisy’s don’t grow well in dumpsters.

This is Bun. He wants you to listen to your body.