So here we are! All of us are in this together! All shows are canceled and we are focused on flattening the curve. We are learning how to socially distance and be socially conscious. Some of our friends are struggling because they can’t work. Some of our friends own small businesses are are greatly compromised. Our show promoters, including myself, are sad but resilient. Shows can be rescheduled and we can approach with a new excitement.
Personally, if the show had gone on, I would have bowed out. I don’t feel that shows should be going on when we are in crisis. We need to socially distance and I think end -arounds and loop hole mentality are selfish. I’m not apologizing for that.
I struggled to get egg whites and protein for my show prep from the stores. They are cleaned out. I can’t find a way to not feel like the biggest douchebag, asshat for being upset that I can’t get 4 containers of egg whites for my bikini show. There are bigger issues and families are not getting what they need for nutrition! Food shortage or just hoarding issues are keeping people from feeling safe. I wish more people cared about others.
So my thoughts for stuff.. it’s not about me. My journal/bloggie was to document how I did my show prep and share info. There will be shows to do and performances to put on. I’m so sure of it.
The other thing I want to say is that working out from home is challenging for a lot of people. Our team is offering free workouts on Instagram to give people some new ways to train. I am the circuit queen. I like to get things done and on the books. My workouts are going to be blasts for a big burn!
Listen, I take nothing for granted. We can understand that challenges create growth.
If you need help with your plan or have questions I can help with.. please message me. My instagram is here
We got this!!
I had a pretty strong week. I am super tired now and I’m starting to feel this prep. It’s been over 14 weeks I’ve been on prep, so this is expected. But my check in this week was great. I switched to a smaller suit though. The tiny suit is one I had made but didn’t fit on day of show because it was made for someone else. So I’m happy that I might be able to wear it! You will notice that I’m in two different suits so that’s why.
Posing! I met Julie for posing and we rocked. I’m feeling really good about where I’m at.
In light of all the issues with the Corona Virus, I’m taking the exact same precautions I always take at the gym. I’m disgusted at other people! But this stuff is always in my bag. I’m not dealing with other people’s grossness.
I found these babies on Amazon. I decided to really start bumping my sups here at the end of prep. I have been using coffee and Redbull as pre workout but I’m pretty pumped about these gummies. Serving size is 5 gummies and they are just 18g C. That fits into my pre workout food but also has all the magic of C4. They are just $9.99 a jar and that is 6 servings. That is about $1.67 a serving. My Red Bulls are almost 3 bucks a can. So I’m going to be good with this. I like them. You can get them here!!
I also got new hair color from my Hair Guru, Melissa Boston. She creates my color for me. This is a new color and I love it. It’s fire. My wings are black and this is going to be amazing on stage and in my shows!!
I worked on my Manson pieces and this costume from Amazon is for the Dahlia Showcase 4/11 and the Side Show Menagerie at Crack Fox STL. Fun!
Food: My food has been spot on this week. I had a macro drop and I felt it. I had one day that I was done with my macros at 3pm. I have not done that in 14 weeks. I was so hungry. I’m going to do a refeed on Sunday and see if I feel better.
Water: still a struggle. I need to do better. It’s a daily goal.
I hope it’s going alright for you!! Let’s push hard this week!!
Just finished week 8. I was sick until Thursday. I don’t feel like I progressed any. I’m not skipping updates because it is what it is. I’m for sure feeling inflamed today. I slept 11 hours last night which is amazing but I could have kept sleeping! I’m still not feeling like fully recovered. This week, I was on my food but I only had a few workouts and they were not full steam. I’m really worried about getting sick again in prep. Everyone I know is sick. We all have to do everything we can to stay healthy.
Track was done. I did what I could though and it was cold!! This weekend is warming up so I’ll get out again!
Cardio and posing done. Yep.
Hit that leg day at Fit City tho. I need a good booty pump.
Hit some practice for my shows.
Water: Heck yes.. I had nothing else to do but drink water!
So let’s just say.. this coming week at 7 weeks out.. I’m ramping back up!
Stay well.. keep pushing!
I had a great week. I got all my workouts in. I felt like I got some changes this week. My food was on point. . My pics today are actually in a show suit. My last two suits were not suitable for this show. The blue one from last week was a suit I wore in 2015 and it didn’t fit me until show week! It’s much too big now. This beautiful silver suit is stage tiny.
Water is always really hard for me. I get it. I feel much better when I drink it that is for sure. It is much better but not 100 percent. Still a goal for this week to get a better handle on that
Sleep is terrible. Do you sleep well? I have hot flashes all night and I’m awake for hours in the middle of the night. I am doing everything I can in regards to ‘remedies’ for menopause symptoms. I have had my food really spot on and I am not eating sugary things. I don’t notice that it makes it worse but I’ve read some people say it does.
I’m not going to food shame sugar or call it the devil. This prep, I’m not craving or looking for it. I have had a lot of counseling and dealing with stuff has really changed my desire for ‘comfort’ foods. I’m really happy with my food and it’s lovely. I probably get sucrose in a few items that I’m eating but it’s not a big deal. I love Powerful Oats and I’m sure it has a little.
My point is.. I’m eating really well, I haven’t dropped macros and I’m getting all my nutrition needs met. I just can’t sleep! I know that has some effect on my results too.
FOOD! I have to thank the mister who is on the crock pots! It’s too cold to grill so we’ve been doing a lot of crock pot meals. My favorite still is lean turkey meat with taco seasoning. I have a bunch of containers of cut up things like tomatoes and onions. I make taco salad for lunch. We are doing a lot of cut up veggies and dip. Cottage cheese and dip mix. Boom. I also eat baked chicken thighs. So good. I just adjust my fat for the day . Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
My friend Kelsey told me about a new Starbucks drink. Cold Brew with a splash of oatmilk and SF cinnamon syrup. It’s the Kelsey Oatmeal Cookie.
POSING I met with Belinda and got my presentation done. I’m practicing everyday.
On Saturday, I hurt my knee doing the sled so that made me really bummed. So I’m going to have to work around some things while this heals. Good grief. I’m always hurt in prep.
Today I’m posing with my team mate , Julie so I will have some fun pics from that. So far, I’m enjoying this process a lot. I am resisting the urge to compare my body with others. I am here for this lesson, journey and to learn some really good things about prepping in menopause. I’m feeling strong so I’m excited to see what I can accomplish this week.
Chip it away, a little at a time.. but it’s all good. Let’s do something great this week!
I mostly write this blog for myself. I dig around and re learn things or get motivated by my past endeavors. I actually started this blog to be accountable to myself and it helps me stay focused on my goals. I doubt anyone will read this post and it’s fine!! Here’s the prep2020 update!
My show is 10 weeks out. I want to be clear, that my March 21 show is mOBSCENE which is a pole burlesque show I am producing.
It’s a big deal for me and I am performing too. I have so many heavy hitters in this show. The cast list is some of the best in the performing community. I decided to create a look for this show and that’s what I’m doing.
So far.. I’m doing great. I’m feeling tighter. I did great all the way through the holidays. I didn’t blow my plan up. I actually did advanced macros so it was easy. I’m very calm. My progress in 4 weeks is great.
I decided that if the planets align, I’ll finish my prep for the next 4 weeks past mOBSCENE and to the NGA show in Peoria. I’m planning on it, but we will see. That probably sounds lazy to some people. I’m working through some menopause (ugh) hormone issues so I’m not sure how prepping will be in the last weeks. This is new territory. But it’s exciting to have that goal.
I have many pole shows this year and many photo shoots too. This all aligns with my goals.
Food: I’m actually keeping my macros high. I haven’t even dropped my macros. What I have done is really tidied them up. I’m trying different food combinations and looking at ingredients to see how they affect my hormones and belly fat. Yeah.. I said it.
I’ve been through over 2 years of some intense trauma work and my cortisol was through the roof. I am finally feeling better.
I’m not mad either way about what happens in that April show. Health is my priority but also, listening to my body.
I am not using a scale either.
I like to prep myself because I can learn more and help my clients too. I’m up for this experience but I am not using prep as a coping mechanism. I’m going to do this project with peace and see where I end up.
The sport with no finish line. Every day moves you further along, even when it seems ‘boring’ or uninspired. It comes with time and energy..
Ahhhhh… beginnings…New beginnings!
I’ve been doing fitness for a long, long time.. but that does not mean that it isn’t a struggle to stay motivated. Fitness ebbs and flows. It does because life does. I’ve done years where I’ve been on prep, or focused on body building shows exclusively. I’ve had years recently that focused on mental health and learning more pole, performance. None of these things are wrong. I grew weary of being in show prep. My body was just sick of it.
So let me tell you what I have done since day one, without fail. I have done workout, selfies and progress updates. I have everything uploaded into drop box and I can see exactly every point of my journey.
I can see freakish lean, buffet fluffy. I can see off season perfect as well as times when I struggled in my macro journey. I can see when I was in my saddest times, the times I felt good and the times I felt really strong.
Every one of these pics are snapshots of my journey. The good, bad and the gym hair, don’t care, ugly.
Why is this meaningful? I look at this pic of my back when I first started getting ready for a show. This was probably back in 2012. I was so motivated to do my first show. It’s all I thought about. I’m sure it bored everyone around me. I thought I looked awesome and I was getting better and better. Motivation and adrenaline level 3000.
Time passed. Shows came and went.. I probably felt less motivated and had to focus more on strategy for subsequent shows. It became habit and skill. But.. I probably beat myself up plenty because I didn’t look IG ready all the time. I probably said negative things in my head about being too this or too that and not good enough. I’m sure of it.
That’s really normal for me.
But…as it turns out..some changes happened.
I probably work up one day around that time and felt bad about myself. I probably allowed my negative self talk to focus in on the things I didn’t like about myself.
But I made gains. I made progress. It’s real.. because I often forget to look up or see how far I’ve come. I’m always digging into why I’m not perfect or 100 percent better. /
There is no finish line though. There is progress. I need to focus more on that!
Progress pics tell our story!
Think of your progress pics, in the same way you track your lifts, and your macros. It’s information!
If you don’t know how to take good progress pics.. go here
I decided to produce my own show in 2020 and I’m very excited to put a new transformation into play. I’ve been working very hard for 2 years on my CPTSD.
I want to touch on that for just a second. Not every day is good. There is a lot of fatigue and some days it’s hard to do much. I think this is a really nice goal for me to put some energy into this show and creating something I have never seen before.
I am about 23 weeks out from that and have decided to make a new physique shape for my show. Something I’ve never done before. It’s a great challenge. I’ve picked out my wardrobe for the show so it has to be spot on.
I spent yesterday digging through years of progress pics. I decided that I do have more skills, more muscle, more knowledge, more information than any of those days before. I’m capable of digging in and creating a new improved process to get to my next set of goals. My journey in pics showed me so much and inspired me to remember where I came from.
My point of this blog is to just give you some real life.. not every fitness guru is showing you the reality of what being fit is. It does flow and sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes health and life issues get in the way. Sometimes we are on fire and sometimes we are not motivated. We have to figure out how to create the life we want and still achieve our dreams. I love the idea of always documenting our journey. It takes very little time, but it’s so powerful to see changes!!
I find some people fear them or they set non specific goals.
But.. clients who use more specific verbiage like this “I want to get back down into my size 10 jeans.” “I want to build my glutes.” ” I want to be able to get down on the floor and play with my kiddos.” “I want to do 5 pull ups on my own.”
Overall do much better in their project than clients who say
“I want to lose weight.” “I want to get healthy.”
That very broad goal isn’t very measurable.
It might feel overwhelming to have a long term goal. I think it is. But setting smaller goals is really effective. Our clients actually set new goals for each check in and we work on that specific one. We are looking for successes they can build on.
What I find is that usually.. the workouts aren’t the issue. The challenge might be consistency. Through our program we have no diet/program fails we have information. We have learning and tweaking.
If a client is able to pinpoint something that is tripping them up.. that’s what we work on!!! I’m actually excited when we figure something out!!!
How to work effectively:
Once you establish a short term goal.. 1. Write it down!! 2. Tell someone!! 3. Create a plan.Decide how you can tweak your plan to make it work. 4. Wake up each day and say ‘”today I’m going to get my water in!!” 5. Keep going.
In my check ins with clients, I’m not looking for perfection. I’m looking for problem solving and tweaking. We don’t need to throw the baby out with the bath water and start over. We need to tweak what is holding us back from our goals so we can get some successes. Once you start having successess.. you can build on them.
We have openings for clients on our online/studio team.www.sleekbodyonline.com You can find a coach there. Our bios are there for you!!!
If you follow my blog, then you probably realize that I am totally transparent on my posts. I’m able to track my journey and if you are so inclined to follow.. then you will get the good, bad, and ugly.
The last time I competed was June 2017. That show.. omg.. whew. I was messed up when I finished it. I had a really great show in October 2016 and wanted to wait a year to compete for my pro card. In 2017, UFE removed the Halloween pro qualifer so the only option was to do the June show. I made a decision to do that so in 52 weeks, I’d prepped for 48 weeks. My body was not happy. After that show was over, I was mentally a mess. I decided to stop for a while and try to recover. It took me about 6 months before I could even look objectively at my pictures from that show.
Here’s a few shots from this show. I loved doing it with my sisters though. I’m glad I took a break.
Over the last 2.5 years it’s been a roller coaster of good, bad and holy shit for me. I’m finally in a place that I feel super pumped to do this new project. #Mayhem2019
I’m really lucky because I have some really amazing things planned for my year. I’m doing some pole shows.
I have a brand new secret project that is HUGE for our family. It’s going to blow up and it’s going to be a game changer. Our team!! ❤ ❤
Mayhem will be the perfect icing for this cupcake!
DON CURRY PHOTOSHOOT
I’m 8 weeks out right now for my huge photoshoot. I’m doing a photoshoot prep right now so I can look my best.
I did this shoot last year and I cannot wait. I have so many costumes and shoes planned!
After the shoot, I’ll take a few weeks and then start show prep. I’m also working really hard with my pole coaches to get my routines down for my shows. So Yeah.. stage lean will be the last thing I see. I need to maintain my strength to do my pole shows. I’m pretty psyched to plan this prep and make it all happen while eating as much food as possible!! BOOM
Posing starts with the Queen B on May 25 and I need a total overhaul!!
I’m ready to slay!
SLEEK BIKINI FIGURE TEAM
I’m doing my own prep with the help of my besties who are on staff at Sleek Body.
My goal is to go into this show with the best wardrobe I’ve ever had. The most beautiful themewear. I want to bring a better package than 2017 and have a calm mind.
Our team has really focused over the last 2 years on making our prep very calm and not scattered or upsetting. I feel like slow and steady will always help me succeed. Of course, I’m doing IIFYM!!
So we are off and running to this new project! 27 weeks track with Mango.
Coach Mango!! She’s on her posing.
Training at Fit City and Sleek Body for this show!!
My partner in my prep is the mister and he is my chef! He watches a lot of cooking shows. It’s a good fit. I’m lucky. I get that.
Did you ever wonder why some people act the way they do? Are some people a mystery to you and you don’t know what to do with them? Do you know why YOU do the things you do?
I do. I know now. But I didn’t know and it was causing me a world of problems!!
This blog is going to explain how I worked this out and it was a total game changer. Stay with me. I want you to look at my title and realize that I do not want you to take advantage of other people. I want you to understand how to work with people better and that is very helpful to everyone!!
Here’s how it worked for me. Tony explains that most people’s basic needs are (in no particular order)
4. Love & Connection
Each one of these needs can be fulfilled with Positive behavior Neutral behavior Negative behavior
Think on this for one moment.
A person who’s put their top basic needs will do everything to get those needs met.
If someone has a need for Uncertainty, variety , chaos
They could fulfill that positively by planning interesting things to do.
Meeting new people or learning new skills. Spending time with different groups of friends or people. Searching for new music, maybe…
Neutral would be neither positive or negative.. just switching things up during the day so it’s not the same old same old..
Negatively, seeking relationships outside their primary one. Looking for ways to disrupt others lives. Blowing people up. Blowing one’s self up.
Here’s one I see a lot in my work: Top needs is Security/comfort/Certainty: I see many clients using food to comfort!! Because they come to me, stress eating, or ‘eating their feelings’ we can assess that they are neither using positive or neutral behaviors to fulfill that need. My goal with them is to help them to understand this and hopefully they can work on positive or neutral behaviors for that top level needs.
So sit down for a moment and order your needs. Your needs may not be the same year after year. You may evolve. Your top needs though.. probably have been the same all along.
Here are mine!
1. Certainty/comfort Security
Let’s talk about my #1. I live an die by security.
It drives me. It always has. It causes me great anxiety when I do not feel my number one need is being met.
Funny (positive) ways I meet my #1 needs.
I have a huge supply of oatmeal under my prep table. It’s there because oatmeal means I have what I need to do my plan .
In my show prep, I have security in protein pancakes. My husband makes them and each day we laugh and say “Those pancakes smell like first place.”
I find security in working many hours. I worked a few jobs at a time when I was younger. I always know I’m going to be ok.
Growth and learning are my number 2. I spend hours reading, doing workshops, feeding that need to learn and be better. I attend pole workshops and take lessons and maybe I got something out of it but maybe the act of doing that fulfilled my need.
Growth/Learning and Love and connection are super compatible because I connect to so many wonderful people. I, myself built a community of amazing people who are like minded and who strive for positivity. So many of those people in my life fuel my connection when they send me a cat meme or share a post. Deeper connections are there but they are relationships that are positive for my life as opposed to seeking connection from strangers or randos. That would be a neutral or negative way for ME to fill that need.
For me 4/5 are interchangeable. I am very happy when I have helped someone to feel better or fix a problem. That validates me. Contribution looks really far down on that list but it sits in there nicely with my number 2/3/4/5. Contribution for me is becoming more important as I grow. Helping people is really intertwined in everything I do but it also fuels my security of my work!! WOW…. that’s interesting.
I would put Uncertainty so far down on my list of needs it should be buried under the ocean. I don’t need variety. I’m a creature of habit and like it that way. In fact when I’m called on having to ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ I hate it. I am in introvert for sure and need to process everything. I do not like surprises!
My husband gave me a surprise trip to Mexico for Christmas and we were set to leave on New Years Day. Nope. NOPE. NOPE. Oh no . The amount of anxiety I had regarding that was too much to bear.
This is my husband’s list of needs. I want you to look at his and look at mine and see how there is a certain challenge we have to work on.
To him, that Mexico trip was perfect. It was impromptu and would shake up an otherwise cold, icky winter. It was for sure variety and the surprise factor of handing it to me for Christmas probably was really exciting to him.
But we are in a relationship that needs to work so when I got that trip for my gift, I did not react well. I got panicky and had to cancel it straight away He probably did not get the validation he was hoping for , for such a luxurious gift!!! I am sure that was very difficult for him!!
We work super hard on helping each other and making sure we are getting our needs met in a positive way. His needs aren’t wrong.. they are just different.
If you also think about your person or even yourself, you can see how if one person chooses a path of negative behavior to fulfill those needs you can end up with broken relationships. I’m touching on just a few things..
Uncertainty, Variety, Chaos: Acting out, drugs, partying, infidelity, really anything can fit there.. if it’s negative, it’s going to be a problem!
Significance/Validation: Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is a rampant culture phenomenon on social media. People risk their lives chasing likes, pushing the envelope simply to appear, be or stay relevant.
This past week, a couple died in Yosemite National park chasing the most daring selfie.
We see all kinds of unhealthy behavior in viral videos and in real life when people use negative behavior to meet their needs.
So how does this pertain to you and using it to your advantage?
Once you have sat down and assessed who you are, how you are fulfilling your own needs you can then delve into your partner or family, friends. How can you positively help them to meet their needs?
One of my kiddos is somewhat like me in that, he has anxiety and is a creature of habit. It would help him for me to positively reinforce security, comfort and certainty to help him feel safe. When I know he needs validation for his art, I can help him self validate and give him positive feedback that he can use to grow. If I know his lowest need is uncertainty, it would not be helpful to give him 1 week to move out of our house and find a new job and start a new school. Does that make sense?
In my job as a coach, it’s super helpful for me to learn about my clients to help them feel secure in their plan and that they have what it takes to reach their goals. If I can see validation is super important to them, I can give them positive feed back quickly. I spend a lot of time on social media and much of what I do is offering positive reinforcement to others.
One way that helps someone to feel positive is to skip the “you’re so hot” comment but offer them feedback that shows you know they are working hard. I try to find ways to let them know they are strong or that lift was incredible so they feel proud of themselves too.
If I have a client who is uncomfortable with public validation, (shy or just not present on social media) I might see where their other needs are. I have some clients who love to learn! I have some who don’t but they want to be a part of something (contribution) so I give them things to allow them to be of service to our team or other members. It’s interesting how a person’s driving needs are very apparent on social media. Dig into their posts!
One of my clients really likes variety. She can’t stand the same ol same ol so I love to give her workouts that change more often so she feels excited to get new ones. She feels accomplished when she completes the past set too! I have another client who begs me NOT to change workouts because she’s really into them and the progressions are making her so happy. That spreadsheet of improvements is making her excited about her plan.
One of the things we can look at as a big picture is when you see people who display behavior that we find deeply troubling to look at their basic needs and how they choose to fulfill them. Tony tells us so beautifully that people will go to the ends of the earth to fulfill those needs and doing with positive behavior isn’t always what’s chosen.
I hope you find value in this blog. I hope you listen to the pod cast and really understand who you are in your needs.