Resets, new beginnings, how to motivate yourself.


The sport with no finish line. Every day moves you further along, even when it seems ‘boring’ or uninspired.  It comes with time and energy..

Ahhhhh… beginnings…New beginnings!

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I’ve been doing fitness for a long, long time.. but that does not mean that it isn’t a struggle to stay motivated. Fitness ebbs and flows. It does because life does. I’ve done years where I’ve been on prep, or focused on body building shows exclusively.  I’ve had years recently that focused on mental health and learning more pole, performance. None of these things are wrong. I grew weary of being in show prep. My body was just sick of it.

So let me tell you what I have done since day one, without fail.  I have done workout, selfies and progress updates.  I have everything uploaded into drop box and I can see exactly every point of my journey.

I can see freakish lean, buffet fluffy. I can see off season perfect as well as times when I struggled in my macro journey. I can see when I was in my saddest times, the times I felt good and the times I felt really strong.

Every one of these pics are snapshots of my journey.  The good, bad and the gym hair, don’t care, ugly.

Why is this meaningful?  I look at this pic of my back when I first started getting ready for a show. This was probably back in 2012. I was so motivated to do my first show. It’s all I thought about. I’m sure it bored everyone around me. I thought I looked awesome and I was getting better and better. Motivation and adrenaline level 3000.
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Time passed. Shows came and went.. I probably felt less motivated and had to focus more on strategy for subsequent shows.  It became habit and skill.  But.. I probably beat myself up plenty because I didn’t look IG ready all the time. I probably said negative things in my head about being too this or too that and not good enough. I’m sure of it.
That’s really normal for me.

But…as it turns out..some changes happened.

I probably work up one day around that time and felt bad about myself. I probably allowed my negative self talk to focus in on the things I didn’t like about myself.
But I made gains. I made progress.  It’s real.. because I often forget to look up or see how far I’ve come. I’m always digging into why I’m not perfect or 100 percent better. /

There is no finish line though. There is progress. I need to focus more on that!
Progress pics tell our story!

Think of your progress pics, in the same way you track your lifts, and your macros. It’s information!

If you don’t know how to take good progress pics.. go here

NEW GOALS!
I decided to produce my own show in 2020 and I’m very excited to put a new transformation into play. I’ve been working very hard for 2 years on my CPTSD.

I want to touch on that for just a second. Not every day is good.  There is a lot of fatigue and some days it’s hard to do much.  I think this is a really nice goal for me to put some energy into this show and creating something I have never seen before.

I am about 23 weeks out from that and have decided to make a new physique shape for my show. Something I’ve never done before.  It’s a great challenge. I’ve picked out my wardrobe for the show so it has to be spot on.

I spent yesterday digging through years of progress pics. I decided that I do have more skills, more muscle, more knowledge, more information than any of those days before. I’m capable of digging in and creating a new improved process to get to my next set of goals. My journey in pics showed me so much and inspired me to remember where I came from.

My point of this blog is to just give you some real life.. not every fitness guru is showing you the reality of what being fit is. It does flow and sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes health and life issues get in the way. Sometimes we are on fire and sometimes we are not motivated.  We have to figure out how to create the life we want and still achieve our dreams.  I love the idea of always documenting our journey.  It takes very little time, but it’s so powerful to see changes!!

If you need help getting your plan set up.. please check out my site or reach out to me. My page is http://www.sleekbodyonline.com

JOURNEY TO STAGE: 26 weeks out

26weeks
If you follow my blog, then you probably realize that I am totally transparent on my posts. I’m able to track my journey and if you are so inclined to follow.. then you will get the good, bad, and ugly.

The last time I competed was June 2017. That show.. omg.. whew. I was messed up when I finished it.  I had a really great show in October 2016 and wanted to wait a year to compete for my pro card.  In 2017, UFE removed the Halloween pro qualifer so the only option was to do the June show.  I made a decision to do that so in 52 weeks, I’d prepped for 48 weeks.  My body was not happy.   After that show was over, I was mentally a mess. I decided to stop for a while and try to recover.  It took me about 6 months before I could even look objectively at my pictures from that show.

Here’s a few shots from this show. I loved doing it with my sisters though. I’m glad I took a break.43753668_2298874023459281_3131529486659485696_n44996466_2298874560125894_3561750270436179968_n

Over the last  2.5 years it’s been a roller coaster of good, bad and holy shit for me. I’m finally in a place that I feel super pumped to do this new project.  #Mayhem2019
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GOOD STUFF:
I’m really lucky because I have some really amazing things planned for my year. I’m doing some pole shows.
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I have a brand new secret project that is HUGE for our family.  It’s going to blow up and it’s going to be a game changer. Our team!! ❤ ❤
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Mayhem will be the perfect icing for this cupcake!

DON CURRY PHOTOSHOOT
I’m 8 weeks out right now for my huge photoshoot. I’m doing a photoshoot prep right now so I can look my best.
I did this shoot last year and I cannot wait. I have so many costumes and shoes planned!

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After the shoot, I’ll take a few weeks and then start show prep. I’m also working really hard with my pole coaches to get my routines down for my shows.  So Yeah.. stage lean will be the last thing I see.  I need to maintain my strength to do my pole shows.  I’m pretty psyched to plan this prep and make it all happen while eating as much food as possible!!  BOOM

Posing starts with the Queen B on May 25 and I need a total overhaul!!
I’m ready to slay!

 

SLEEK BIKINI FIGURE TEAM
I’m doing my own prep with the help of my besties who are on staff at Sleek Body.
My goal is to go into this show with the best wardrobe I’ve ever had. The most beautiful themewear.  I want to bring a better package than 2017 and have a calm mind.

Our team has really focused over the last 2 years on making our prep very calm and not scattered or upsetting. I feel like slow and steady will always help me succeed.  Of course, I’m doing IIFYM!!

So we are off and running to this new project!
27 weeks track with Mango.
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Coach Mango!!  She’s on her posing.58542992_2579575988722415_1648926382605991936_n

Training at Fit City and Sleek Body for this show!!

My partner in my prep is the mister and he is my chef! He watches a lot of cooking shows. It’s a good fit.   I’m lucky. I get that.
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Mango says.. we got this.
41542233_2235808806432470_4391235045159862272_n Stay tuned for updates!

Good luck on  your competition!
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Moving from IIFYM into Intuitive Dieting part 1:

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Progressions through my journey. I’m getting better every year.

It’s been a while since I posted an update on my training/dieting.   I finished my show season in June and have reversed dieted back up to over 2000 calories a day.  I will not have another bikini competition until I take the stage at UFE Mayhem 2019.

I am training for plenty of pole show cases, and two competitions in 2019.

So let me back track a bit.  I want to show you a progression of my flexible dieting journey. Part two will explain my current use of IIFYM for my competition.

Binge/Restrict 2012
I spent the bulk of my life in a binge restrict pattern.  I was knee deep in the Tosca Reno EAT CLEAN movement but  never measured servings. I refused to eat sugar because it was the devil (according to the Skinny Bitches movement). I was deep in orthorexia but still binged until I made myself sick.   Cookies, cakes, whole pies, then returned to a restricted plan with full intentions of redeeming myself. I know   I choose to compete in a competition partially because I knew I could lock myself down to get rid of these binges. This is the first time I admitted that.

When I began my competition journey in  late 2012, I was basically starving myself.  Nutrition was tough for me because of my patterns of binging. ;(
This is how I looked on my first day of bikini competition training.   Yes.. I was lifting, doing massive cardio but not getting enough nutrition to fuel the work I was doing.  My coach told me “you are starving”. I agree.

 

 

 


Bro plan: Restrict. 2013/2014
I started immediately on low carb bro plan but.. I also started eating more protein and I began to look better. My nutrition was improving too because I was consistently eating 12 cups of spinach each day. My vitamins were on point and I was fueling my workouts.
I was focused and did well until I binged out. I had terrible derails that lasted for days.
My coach told me 8 weeks out from my first show, that one more derail would keep me off stage. Well. I handled that just fine. Placed 2nd and ate an entire pound of birthday cake fudge in the car on the way to the restaurant.

I had no reverse diets either. It was a hot mess.  I did Bro hard core off and on.
I got very sick from the lack of nutrition my coaches gave me. I resorted back to my binges in the off season and then I would grab my old show diets and use those. It makes me so sad to say that. I never fixed one thing. I only proved to myself that I had an iron will until I fell apart and that was NOT going to be ok for me any longer.

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Jan 2013 and June 2014.  I began IIFYM post show Nanbf  in July 2014.

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.  I asked my coach during 2014 prep for swaps and was told I wouldn’t look right on stage if I swapped out my protein or carbs.  I don’t believe that is true.  I was going to make this happen and end this nightmare of binge/restrict.  I fired her and  began this part of my journey.

I want to say to you, if you are still with me.. all of the things I experienced above made me a better athlete and a better coach.  I’m not mad about this journey. I’m here to learn and grow.  I’m leaving behind those old ideas and people who won’t use science!!

IIFYM: The First year with IIFYM was interesting. I set a goal to learn to find out what triggered me and my binges. I found out!!! Then I fixed it. Sometimes it was baby steps but it was information.  I still believed in ‘clean’ food but I added in small sugar treats until I started to get mad when my veggies got in the way of my snacks. 😦  Read more about that here
I worked very hard my first year to decrease binges by eating foods that made me happy.
I still believed some food was “bad”. I made huge strides in my physique and my happiness. I would go 6 months without a binge.  This was great.  Here’s how that looked.  I had almost 18 months between shows and I prepped myself for UFE Halloween Mayhem 2015.  I did not binge in prep. I did however have 2 months post show that I lost my way. I’m just being honest.  I pulled it together and set new goals for 2016.
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IIFYM Flexible Prep: 2016
For my second full year of IIFYM I wanted to take my nutrition to the next level. I had done so well curtailing my binges and I was very confident in my ability to master flexible dieting.  I paid mind to eating food that made my body run great, I focused on my fruits and veggies and variety.  I began to let go of the “bad ” food concept and allowed myself to eat foods that were previously off limits.  Amazingly, I didn’t get fat, I didn’t lose my way. I began to understand that I could fuse lots of great food into my plan as long as I was eating my daily nutrition requirements!!  YESSS.

That journey was seriously incredible. I focused in on micro nutrition as well as my macros. I began to understand more about my body than I had ever dreamed. I wanted to know!!  Yes… old habits die hard. I still found myself wanting to have treats (albeit “clean”) to help me stay out of that binge territory. I know what works for me!!  I made it work. I want to show you this picture because this was all about fueling for my build from just doing a basic cookie cutter bro plan. Yes.. time had passed but let’s be honest.. I started this at 47 so three years isn’t’ that long.

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Eat lift slay for a booty. I ate more carbs than ever!

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Halloween Mayhem October 2016 I became a UFE Elite Athlete. I loved my package and I loved my prep. It was an amazing learning experience.  I ate so many amazing foods in my prep and came in with my favorite package!!

2017
I competed right away again in June of 2017 and I loved my package but this prep was harder on my body and I had to dig deeper to get lean enough.  I basically did 42 weeks of prep in 1 year.  I would never do that again!! That’s not what my body wants at all.
It was still a great prep and I ate beautifully as I got ready for stage.
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After Fury in June 2017 my next step was to reverse diet and then begin my training for the Pole Sport Organization Gateway competition in December.

Intuitive dieting: What is it?
The goal of our team with clients is to teach them the progression of flexible dieting so they can learn to be truly flexible.  That means they can begin to use their knowledge to eat for their goals without being tied to a scale and tracker. This comes with time and practice.

To be effective a client  would understand and manage your macros in their head.  I know I have to reach 150-180g P each day. I need 25g min of fiber and 500g veggies min. I know my minimum fat intake should be about 40g so I just eat and add this in my head. I’m using visuals and my scale as well as nutritional information on lables.

When would a person use this?  I started using intuitive dieting loosely post show 2017.  It was magical. I was spot on because, trust me.. I’ve seen 5 ounces of chicken breast more than I’d like to admit.  I often use it when I”m traveling or eating out. Most restaurants have nutrition on their websites.  It’s handy!

Who should use this?  Only people who have a clear understanding of their body, macros and feel committed to hitting all their micros/macros!!

Do you do it daily?  Maybe..  I might do it on a day then use my tracker.  I started gingerly and progressed.  I’m very tied to MYNETDIARY tracker.  It’s a safety blanket for me. However.. being able to start this process is a huge step for me.

Here I go!!  Part two is here.

2016 Mayhem recap and pics

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UFE HALLOWEEN MAYHEM 2016 CHICAGO IL

I love this show. I am so excited to share with you how fun it is to compete in UFE.
So.. I did this show last year and I wanted to really raise my game for the judges!!

I started working with my designer in January!!  Ideas were solidified in May and we brought 4 amazing looks to this show. They were exactly what I wanted.

Ok.. so here’s how it all went…

My peak week went really well . I woke up Thursday looking great! Nice and tight. Friday I woke up looking like ET. Horrible.  My suits were way way toooo big. Oh no… I went  straight to eating!! Carbs. mmmmmm. I started looking better immediately!!  mmmmm carbs. Best day!!

Friday night we had our meeting and tan.
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You know how pale I am. That tan was spot on. The tanner for UFE is Fitworld and they are amazing.And just so you know.. when you are competing with UFE, Rachel and her team will help you backstage. They glued me so many times, fixed my tan and just went out of their way to make sure I was taken care of. They also do hair and makeup!!
I will encourage you to use Fitworld Competition Services for all your backstage needs.
They are in the host hotel with us!! It’s fantastic.

Oh.. I loved my tan.. it was very sunkissed and not orangey.

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My goal this year was to do my own hair and makeup. I hired an artist and did my lessons.  At the end though, I couldn’t make it happen. I was just too overwhelmed. I worked with a local Chicago Artist  Sabrina Ramirez. She gave me my best VS look. I loved that she used the colors I bought for my show so I could touch up.  This is my favorite look I’ve done for stage! In UFE your stage presentation is a large portion of your score!!  I needed full on glam to complete my looks.hair
I want to thank Melissa Lambert who is my dear friend and hairstylist. She created my red color. This is Tracy Red. I also wanted to homage Prince and the color purple in my show for her. She is an amazing friend to me and so gifted at her job.

My nails are done with love and care all year by my dear friend Rose. She is so good to me! Both ladies would love to work with you!

Ok.. so back to show day!!

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In my suit ready to go.
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Selfie with the mister. This guy is my rock. You all know he food preps like a boss. He has my back. I could not do this without him
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Oh man.. I was the first one on stage this year!  Oh man.. I was nervous but I went out for Glamour in my bikini for judging. We come back in our themewear later.

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Our green room is the bomb. This is a good shot of my Prince Purple Rain bikini. All the connectors were hand made from jewelry by my costume designer, Rebel Tart. I love sequins on stage.
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Hit the stage again in my blue bikini.
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This suit. omg.  We have that puppy glued down. I love the flat sequins. My dragon look for themewear held together with chains.This was entirely the vision of Cindy from Rebel Tart
We needed to get me out of the “pink and girlie” box for this Halloween show. The chains were inspired by Britney Spears costume at the Billboard awards this year. The Harness is from a VS fashion show outfit. The chains are held on with jewelry hooks and have spikes.
I got the shoes from amazon!! They are now going to be pole shoes!! ha.

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I want to tell you about the Wings. We got these wings custom from a seller on Etsy. They were horrible. The broke immediately and were totally shoddy work. Cindy’s friend Terry creates wings for movies. She enlisted his help to recreate them so they were wearable. My clients know how much stress these things gave us. Cindy then stayed up all night filling out the feathers and building them into these stage worthy masterpieces. I did not just ‘get these’. People’s hearts and souls were put into making this look.

UFE has the fabulous Glamour Category that is the Victoria’s Secret Fashion show category. You can choose any type of glamour outfit you like. I want you all to do this category!!  OMG .

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UFE Halloween Mayhem has a costume contest. I wanted to do Batgirl to celebrate 50 years of Batgirl. Cindy Henry took the original design for Yvonne Craig’s suit from the old Batman Tv series. She hand crafted Bat-a Rangs for the closure on the back and on the utility belt. The bat is inset into the fabric! This costume is 100 percent my favorite thing I have ever worn.  I will transition this outfit to my pole now.
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My kiddos told me that I have to high kick. .

Back stage! The Chicago Boys were awesome. They put on a fantastic show. They are acrobats and it was mind blowing! The energy at this show is off the chain!

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These ladies. Omg sisters in iron. I have so many friends in UFE and they all have amazing journeys. The girls on stage.. never discount what they have done to get there.  We had so much fun!
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Backstage with Donna!

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Awards at the night show.  this is the Glamor Category. I’m still in Batgirl. We could wear what we wanted for awards.

9My dear friend and fellow Sleek Body coach Michelle brought me a cupcake and a vat of icing. She and Lar Bear drove 5 hours to support me in my show. Our Team mate Jessica also came!  I ‘m so freaking happy. I placed  1st in Bikini Masters, 2nd in Glamour and I was in the top 5 of the bikini open.  UFE does top 3 for trophies but I will take the victory of being in the top 5. I am now able to compete in the Elite Category for UFE and will be able to compete at UFE Worlds.  I will bring a better package next year!
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One more shout out to the mister who brought his best John McClain from Die Hard!
We are a great team. I’m so happy to have such support from my family, my clients, my friends.  The folks who believe in me make me work harder.
I love my UFE home and am so happy to be in the UFE family. They treat their athletes so well. I feel they are very fair in their judging. I am excited to help bring UFE Rampage to St. Louis April 22, 2017.
If you want to learn more about competing in this great federation, please visit ufeshows.com or contact me for more info about Rampage. You can also join our FB group!

If you are looking for a bikini team home.. please check us out at SleekBikiniTeam.com
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mmm.. time to eat.. 🙂

Halloween Mayhem 18 days out

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I feel like I blinked and September was over. I’m just 18 days from my show UFE Halloween Mayhem in Chicago.
I have been pushing so hard this year, but I feel really good.

I’m bringing a fantastic wardrobe including 3 bikinis, 56 inch feather wings and a kick ass
Halloween costume for the evening show. My bikini’s are originals and not purchased from the usual online bikini sellers.  Rebeltart.com has created my looks and we have pulled some ideas from Britney Spears, Prince and Victoria’s Secret Fashion shows with an edge.  These are all 100 percent unique!

This year I’m cutting pretty hard at the end. It’s been harder for me to get lean. I notice every year, it’s not the fastest process. I’m not discouraged. I’m really pushing hard at the end here.

I’m still using my IIFYM flexibility but I don’t have much food right now so pretty much anything other than protein and veggies is out the door. Just keeping it real.

I don’t have energy for my pole so that will have to wait until after the show.

This was a week ago at 3.5 weeks out. I can’t wait to see how lean I can get!
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Pink Muscle

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One of our awesome Sleek Bikini Team Athletes competed in Pink Muscle. She looked amazing! That show was really, really fun.  I was able to meet and totally fangirl Amanda Latona Kuclo.  Amanda was pretty much the reason I started competing. She’s the booty queen!  She was fantastic to talk with and really shared a lot.  She’s great for our industry!  I picked up some Booty Queen tights too. You should totally get these. 
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You can go to her site BootyQueenAppearal.com and get clothing line. I really like the fit of these and they stay put for leg day, ladies!!  I got the first pair of these tights, aside from the ones Amanda had on at the show!  Yeaaaa!

Photo shoot is this weekend with our coaches!  I’m super pumped!

I hope your competition training is going great!!
xoxo

Join our team!
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Show update 21 weeks out

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First of all.. picked my shows. If I’m ready, my first is June 20, 2015 in Bentonville, Arkansas.

Starting the cut
I have struggled with binge eating after my last show in June.   If you follow my blog you know this.  I rebounded from my Bro diet hard and ate  some great food. I added muscle too.  I got some great lifts while I was getting fluffy. No apologies. I’m fixing this problem. It’s a journey, for sure!

The process
I began a slow cut January 1. I made a change to remove most processed foods like cookies and candy, pastries because I was being triggered by the sugar.  I am NOT on a a bro diet at all. I’m simply eating more whole foods and enjoying things I KNOW I would have  never gotten to eat on my Bro-prep.  IIFYM  Tracy Style.  I’m ONLY using processed sugars around my leg workouts and eating things that are not triggers for binges.

My Goal
My goal was to cut 1 pound a week until I’m 10 pounds from show weight then start my official 12 prep-whenever that would be.

In my mind, I’m 20 pounds from my show weight right now. 153.

I started January 1 at 157 and dropped immediately to 153, then 152, then back up to 153, where I have been for 3 solid weeks. EVERY SINGLE DAY!

My beginning macros were 1800 calories and we upped them in week 2 to 1900 and I’m at about 200g Carbs per day.
I’m not carb cycling.  I just want to eat well and not binge and I’m doing great on that!

FRUSTRATED!

I was very stressed at the scale! I was contemplating adding more cardio! Hey, my FitBit said I should have lost 3 pounds a week!
My head kept saying, cut back,  cut carbs at 21 weeks out!  I was seriously freaking because my plan was NOT happening.

Fortunately,  I had taken  my beginning pics  on January 4. I hate these with all my heart!  UGH! Fluffy but determined!

3 weeks difference with no change on the scale.
3 weeks difference with no change on the scale. Left side is 200g carbs a day. I added more food to see what would happen.

I took the next set January 24. I just woke up no spray tan, no pump, just 5am -me.  I like these!!  I know I have miles to go in 21 weeks but I’m encouraged!  More food!

Flex prep!
There is not one other person in this world who cares as much about my health or show prep than me. I will do what it takes to
flex prep properly. If I can’t compete until later, I’m ok with that!
I’m  100 percent responsible here.  I will be successful! Yeah, I said it. No one would be as anal as me about this!   After 2 eye diseases, I’m doing this right.

I’m actually  not scared. I will reach the stage without starving, or burning off my glutes with hours of cardio. I’m only doing 2 x 15 min HIITs right now. I’m lifting heavy 6 days a week. Changes will come later as needed.  Stay the course and eat.

What I learned :
With my past  Bro preps (low carb, dangerously low fats) the scale moved.  I’m eating more carbs now than I ever had before.  By nature, the scale will be inaccurate because of the carbs.
I expect it to move eventually. I typically hold for a bit then drop.
However, the scale is not going to be the determining factor this prep.  I will be leaner for my shows, but I won’t be hungry and ready to pass out on stage again!

So that’s the long update for today!!

xoxo