10/5 Weeks out

Beginning 10 weeks out until NGA

I actually started prep after Thanksgiving last year. I took one day off for Christmas. I’ve been perfect on my macros every day. That sounds braggy. I don’t mean it to be, just that I felt so good and calm it isn’t hard. I have a lot of food. A LOT. I haven’t cut my macros yet at all since I started 11 weeks ago. I always do about a 20 week prep. I wasn’t sure how progress would be with all the hormone issues I’m having. I think I had a good week.

I started taking good pics about a month ago. I’m not sure why I waited. But in anycase.. here are the comparisons. I told you, this blog is the reality, not the instagram fairy tale. I have to chip away at every bit of progress.

4 weeks progress.

Food this week was great. I still have taco salad for lunch. I’ve been doing lots of raw veggies and dip. I use cottage cheese for the dip though. We have our prep food down to a science. We can order from Wal-mart’s app and they bring it right out to the car!

Valentines: We did a special meal. I have to say that I should not have tried to go into the grocery store on Valentines Day. All the pink cookies and cakes were really talking to me. I held back macros for dinner so I was hungry! NOOOOO.. that’s not the time to go shopping.

In prep, I try to have a steak or red meat once in while. I don’t really like it except for burgers. I freaking love burgers. We bought lean, grass fed filet and baked potatoes. We made Spinach Salad too. My goal was to have 2 Smore’s. I bought the right Graham crackers. The ones with the cinnamon sugar on them.

The steak, I could not even eat it. I just can’t even get it down. The graham crackers were like cardboard. I haven’t eaten those for ever so I guess they are different. GROSS. I threw those in the trash. Never mind.

Posing: Practicing every single day. My back is on fire!! I’m hoping it will get better and better. It’s really hard.


Always Be Posing #abp

Water: UGH!! Terrible. I need to get it together. I hate it so bad! I’m going to come back next week having hit my water goals. Committed.

Sleep: I had 3 great nights. I felt like a different human! It was freaking amazing. The rest were pretty bad. I know if I had better sleep overall, I’d be doing better on this project.

I have all my wardrobe for both shows!! My wings are coming this week, I’m told. I love my suits that were graciously sent to me by one of my team mates! ❤

Workouts: Never any issues. I have a lot of pole this week. I’m getting close on my show and need to step up my practice time.

Thoughts:
A few times this week, I looked at myself in the mirror with disdain and said “why are you even trying this?”
I was able to reset my thoughts and ground myself. This is MY project. It’s about what I can accomplish and I deserve to be on stage just as much as anyone. I am working really hard and focused. But I’m enjoying this process. I like documenting the journey so I can learn!!

I bought this up in one of my other blogs, but having done so much counseling, I don’t even crave things like I used to. I can’t explain that freedom and the relief. Had I not had all the trauma, I’d never have been someone who struggled so hard with eating disorders and using food to cope. But it is what it is.

In prep, I have been able to use it as a coping mechanism and not deal with my issues. It’s a good fit for someone like me and not in a good way.
When I hit the wall in 2017 after my last show, I took that time to get my mental health together. It’s been horrible. I’m not going to lie. Horrible.

All that being said, is just to say, this blog goes all the way back to 2014 preps. I can see growth. I hope that in the years to come I can read back on these posts and see even more growth!!

Bun. He’s happy you are here.

11/6 Weeks Out

I am very bruised on my thighs. That is what you are seeing. It is what it is. I worked hard yesterday.
I did my workout at Fitcity then went to Dahlia for Open pole to work on strength.
I had a great week. I still have almost 3 months to go!
Yep.. it’s all out there. I’m just working on progress and chipping away at the lower body. It is always brutal getting leaned out in the lower. And to be perfectly honest, I prefer a juicy round booty. I’m not going to hate on any of my physiques. This is a project.

I had a great week. I got all my workouts in. I felt like I got some changes this week. My food was on point. . My pics today are actually in a show suit. My last two suits were not suitable for this show. The blue one from last week was a suit I wore in 2015 and it didn’t fit me until show week! It’s much too big now. This beautiful silver suit is stage tiny.



Water is always really hard for me. I get it. I feel much better when I drink it that is for sure. It is much better but not 100 percent. Still a goal for this week to get a better handle on that

Sleep is terrible. Do you sleep well? I have hot flashes all night and I’m awake for hours in the middle of the night. I am doing everything I can in regards to ‘remedies’ for menopause symptoms. I have had my food really spot on and I am not eating sugary things. I don’t notice that it makes it worse but I’ve read some people say it does.

I’m not going to food shame sugar or call it the devil. This prep, I’m not craving or looking for it. I have had a lot of counseling and dealing with stuff has really changed my desire for ‘comfort’ foods. I’m really happy with my food and it’s lovely. I probably get sucrose in a few items that I’m eating but it’s not a big deal. I love Powerful Oats and I’m sure it has a little.

My point is.. I’m eating really well, I haven’t dropped macros and I’m getting all my nutrition needs met. I just can’t sleep! I know that has some effect on my results too.


FOOD!
I have to thank the mister who is on the crock pots! It’s too cold to grill so we’ve been doing a lot of crock pot meals. My favorite still is lean turkey meat with taco seasoning. I have a bunch of containers of cut up things like
tomatoes and onions. I make taco salad for lunch.
We are doing a lot of cut up veggies and dip. Cottage cheese and dip mix. Boom.
I also eat baked chicken thighs. So good. I just adjust my fat for the day . Easy peasy lemon squeezy.

My friend Kelsey told me about a new Starbucks drink. Cold Brew with a splash of oatmilk and SF cinnamon syrup. It’s the Kelsey Oatmeal Cookie.

POSING
I met with Belinda and got my presentation done. I’m practicing everyday.

On Saturday, I hurt my knee doing the sled so that made me really bummed.
So I’m going to have to work around some things while this heals. Good grief. I’m always hurt in prep.

mOBSCENE outfit 1

Today I’m posing with my team mate , Julie so I will have some fun pics from that. So far, I’m enjoying this process a lot. I am resisting the urge to compare my body with others. I am here for this lesson, journey and to learn some really good things about prepping in menopause. I’m feeling strong so I’m excited to see what I can accomplish this week.

Chip it away, a little at a time.. but it’s all good.
Let’s do something great this week!

12/7 Weeks out

First of all.. Thank gawd, January is finally over: long ass month.
I had a great week. I only had one day when I struggled on my food. I hit all my workouts, rest days. Sleep was terrible though.

I found out this week I can’t get my green suit altered. So I have some other suits to work with. This is one from 2015. I think it will be too big come show day. It works for now.

This week I performed again for the Side Show Menagerie at the Crack Fox. I had some extra pole practices. It went really well.
I don’t have any more shows until mOBSCENE 3.21. I am going to be in the gym doing the thing.

Signature pose.

I haven’t dropped any macros yet. There are a lot of crock pots going at this house. I’m loving turkey taco salads for lunch these days. Last night, I had protein cookie dough for dinner. I actually like this prep best of all I’ve done so far.

This weeks goals are water.. ugh.. I hate water. I ‘m doing good but it could be better.

Posing: I pose with Belinda today. I will update with screen shots. NGA posing is a bit like my NANBF I did in 2013/14 but I need so much help. I really want to be incredible at my presentation.

The other goals are to just keep working and chipping away.

Getting stage lean for me takes a long time and my legs are the last to improve. I’m just focusing in on the work.

How is your plan going?

13/8 weeks out

13 weeks from NGA

It’s been a great week!!
I ordered my show wings for the Bikini Model Category.
I start posing with the Queen B next Sunday.
Host Hotel is booked
Food.. on point.
Water.. needs work.. ugh… always!

Everything is going great.

Today I checked in wearing my show suits which honestly I was glad they fit. I mean, clearly we have miles to go.

My green Ravish Sands suit is coming back for this show. It was the most blingy one ever! I need them to change the back for sure. That is the old style bottoms! I hope they can.

My favorite Aqua suit went on and I loved it but we still have a long way to go. I’m optimistic and having fun so I’m making my programming changes and we shall carry on!

I can’t lift my arms /upper for 3 more weeks while I let my elbow heal.
Yesterday I did my trap deads/squats using my Haulin Hooks. That was a big salvation!

If you just joined us, 3 weeks ago I fell off my 12 foot pole and landed on my elbow. I’m really glad it wasn’t worse because it was a bad fall. I’m not sure how I escaped with just this injury.

Back to it. Rob made all the food prep for the week. I have tacos for lunch almost every day. I’m really loving my food! IIFYM!!

So here’s to a great week. Let’s do this!!

14/9 weeks out

Check in pics 13 weeks out

Ahh.. 13 weeks to stage and just 8 weeks until my pole show, mOBSCENE!
I started with my check in pics. I’m doing my own prep but I have two amazing friends/fellow coaches who are also giving me feed back. I also love the idea of accountability.

My journey is a bit different this time. It’s been since 2017 since I’ve prepped for stage. That last show I did messed my head up so bad. I had to take time off. I had done 2 preps in 1 year. My body was in bad shape.

I have some real regrets about how my mental state suffered from my last show. 😦 I needed to step away.

Shortly after that I began counseling and have worked really hard these last 2 plus years to deal with my CPTSD. It has been excruciating. I have a long way to go, but I want to say that I’m in a far better place than I was in my last prep.

I’m really liking doing this prep. I feel like I’m doing it for me and I have a nice, calm peace about it. I don’t have any trepidation about saying any of this out loud. I believe we need to be healthy mentally as well as physically.

13 weeks out. Doing the things.

My posing coach, Belinda is ready to help me become next level. I’m really excited to work with her. She has taken many of my team to victories.
I’m setting up posing sessions with my friends and we are ready to make this project a success.

I’d like to shout out my show. NGA Heart of America! They are very nice humans!! I’m really excited to do this show!!

Ah.. this past weekend, I performed in the STL POLE SHOW! I felt amazing!! Here are a few shots!!

I wish you luck with all your shows too!

I’m available for coaching!! You can see me at http://www.sleekbodyonline.com

14/10 weeks out-update

Progress over 4 weeks.

I mostly write this blog for myself. I dig around and re learn things or get motivated by my past endeavors. I actually started this blog to be accountable to myself and it helps me stay focused on my goals.
I doubt anyone will read this post and it’s fine!! Here’s the prep2020 update!

My show is 10 weeks out. I want to be clear, that my March 21 show is mOBSCENE which is a pole burlesque show I am producing.

It’s a big deal for me and I am performing too. I have so many heavy hitters in this show. The cast list is some of the best in the performing community.
I decided to create a look for this show and that’s what I’m doing.

Show goal.This is 4 weeks out from my last bikini competition. So I know I can do this.

So far.. I’m doing great. I’m feeling tighter. I did great all the way through the holidays. I didn’t blow my plan up. I actually did advanced macros so it was easy. I’m very calm. My progress in 4 weeks is great.

I decided that if the planets align, I’ll finish my prep for the next 4 weeks past mOBSCENE and to the NGA show in Peoria. I’m planning on it, but we will see. That probably sounds lazy to some people. I’m working through some menopause (ugh) hormone issues so I’m not sure how prepping will be in the last weeks. This is new territory. But it’s exciting to have that goal.

I have many pole shows this year and many photo shoots too. This all aligns with my goals.

Food: I’m actually keeping my macros high. I haven’t even dropped my macros. What I have done is really tidied them up. I’m trying different food combinations and looking at ingredients to see how they affect my hormones and belly fat. Yeah.. I said it.

I’ve been through over 2 years of some intense trauma work and my cortisol was through the roof. I am finally feeling better.

I’m not mad either way about what happens in that April show. Health is my priority but also, listening to my body.

I am not using a scale either.

I like to prep myself because I can learn more and help my clients too. I’m up for this experience but I am not using prep as a coping mechanism. I’m going to do this project with peace and see where I end up.

Mango and I do track workouts together. Need to stay strong for all my performances.

Prep 2020-updates and things


I haven’t prepped really since 2017. I took years off from my last competition to recover mentally and have been working on my mental health.  Lots of self care there.

mob.jpg

So my goals for 2020 are to prep for a show I am producing in March!  It’s not a body building show but I’m going to come in looking strong.  I am treating this prep as I do my bikini competition shows.  It’s mental for me.
I’m excited to be back on prep!


I’m 54 now and I’m also exploring food and hormones and going to working hard to figure out how to deal with all these changes in my body.   No one wants to discuss how hormones effect women and we are sort of the forgotten humans when it comes to fitness. Honestly, the midsection is really hard for many of us, and add peri-menopause or Menopause.. ugh. So I’m going to focus there.

I have lots of shows and photo shoots on deck for 2020 so I’m super focused. I’m actually feeling really good!  
We are taking our team to the NGA Show in April and many of us are prepping together so we will all have some camaraderie.

Our 2020 Coaching staff is ready to go!! I’m so proud of these women! We are ready to help our clients!! If you need help or want to learn more.. you can find our bios SLEEKBODYONLINE.COM

I wish you success with your journey!!! Let’s do this!!

unnamed

Live like Lizzo! We will not atone to toxic people!

lizzo
In our pole community, almost daily there is a post like this:

“My boyfriend/husband/partner doesn’t like me pole dancing. He said I’m a whore. He tells me I’m not very good. He tells me I’m dancing around the pole like a slut. He won’t let me go to class.
He won’t let me post my videos to my insta feed when I only do it so I can share my successes. He says I’m going to be a prostitute now. He said he doesn’t want anyone looking at me dancing. ..” ON AND ON AND ON AND ON..

Every one of the threads follows with some women saying:

“Try to explain to him, tell him we have to show skin for grip. Tell him you feel happy when you dance. Tell him, we all share videos so we learn.
Tell him you won’t dance exotic or wear heels.. Help him understand. He’s just insecure. Help him feel secure.. help him. help him help him…”

STOP IT. We need to stop it now.

We are grown women with autonomy over our bodies and we can make choices for our selves based on what makes us happy. It’s not our job to ‘explain’ ourselves.

Any human, for any reason who chooses their own perceptions over their partners happiness is TOXIC. It’s not about them. In fact, we don’t have to convince them it’s a ‘good thing’ because we know dancing is a great thing. It’s not up to anyone else!

And don’t be fooled.. this happens in my bikini/body building community too.
We have had clients husbands slut shame them on show day.  It’s unreal!

This is not a dancing or sport issue.. it’s first of all a control issue and secondly an issue where grown women are taking up less space and encouraging each other to be accommodating to men /partners perceptions.

“But.. you don’t understand my relationship…”

Yeah.. I do. It’s toxic. When your partner degrades you, shames you and tries to control you, it’s their issue. They are abusive and toxic. The opposite of healthy. People who love you, care about you want you to be happy not sad and lacking self esteem.

When Pants Attack

When Pants Attack.pants

In 2013 I competed and then set on a course to build my glutes.

In 2015 I dug out a pair of my old ‘boyfriend’ style jeans and they wouldn’t go over my thighs. I took to the bed. Crying. Rob said something like.. “we worked on this with food, you trained hard to build your glutes” Stating the obvious.. didn’t matter. I was broken in pieces. Brains are a thing that sometimes do us dirty.

If those jeans would have fit.. then I would have not achieved my goal. My plan would have been “off”.
glutes

I have lost many competitors from PANTS. They quit when their work pants don’t fit. They don’t want to invest in more work pants. They don’t like going up a size in pants.

They want to win in this sport but remain the same. We can’t remain the same. We shouldn’t. We all should be moving forward. The industry joke is ‘buy leggings”. I actually only own leggings or jeggings. I don’t even try on denim so my head doesn’t explode. We get used to being thrilled when we go down a jeans size not up. So…

These are things that we all do.. we put things in our head that are measures of failure. If the scale says this number, I’m trash. If the scale says this number.. I’m winning. It’s made up. 😭

My pants issues are just part of the issue I have with my body and perception of what is optimal.

As our body changes, it’s not a straight shot down to ‘skinny’ because we don’t live like that. We are eating, lifting and creating a physique that WE want. It’s not linear. We have to eat to grow and we have to build what we want. We won’t give up because pants told us we aren’t good enough.  Pants are not in charge. Www.sleekbodyonline.com

Resets, new beginnings, how to motivate yourself.


The sport with no finish line. Every day moves you further along, even when it seems ‘boring’ or uninspired.  It comes with time and energy..

Ahhhhh… beginnings…New beginnings!

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I’ve been doing fitness for a long, long time.. but that does not mean that it isn’t a struggle to stay motivated. Fitness ebbs and flows. It does because life does. I’ve done years where I’ve been on prep, or focused on body building shows exclusively.  I’ve had years recently that focused on mental health and learning more pole, performance. None of these things are wrong. I grew weary of being in show prep. My body was just sick of it.

So let me tell you what I have done since day one, without fail.  I have done workout, selfies and progress updates.  I have everything uploaded into drop box and I can see exactly every point of my journey.

I can see freakish lean, buffet fluffy. I can see off season perfect as well as times when I struggled in my macro journey. I can see when I was in my saddest times, the times I felt good and the times I felt really strong.

Every one of these pics are snapshots of my journey.  The good, bad and the gym hair, don’t care, ugly.

Why is this meaningful?  I look at this pic of my back when I first started getting ready for a show. This was probably back in 2012. I was so motivated to do my first show. It’s all I thought about. I’m sure it bored everyone around me. I thought I looked awesome and I was getting better and better. Motivation and adrenaline level 3000.
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Time passed. Shows came and went.. I probably felt less motivated and had to focus more on strategy for subsequent shows.  It became habit and skill.  But.. I probably beat myself up plenty because I didn’t look IG ready all the time. I probably said negative things in my head about being too this or too that and not good enough. I’m sure of it.
That’s really normal for me.

But…as it turns out..some changes happened.

I probably work up one day around that time and felt bad about myself. I probably allowed my negative self talk to focus in on the things I didn’t like about myself.
But I made gains. I made progress.  It’s real.. because I often forget to look up or see how far I’ve come. I’m always digging into why I’m not perfect or 100 percent better. /

There is no finish line though. There is progress. I need to focus more on that!
Progress pics tell our story!

Think of your progress pics, in the same way you track your lifts, and your macros. It’s information!

If you don’t know how to take good progress pics.. go here

NEW GOALS!
I decided to produce my own show in 2020 and I’m very excited to put a new transformation into play. I’ve been working very hard for 2 years on my CPTSD.

I want to touch on that for just a second. Not every day is good.  There is a lot of fatigue and some days it’s hard to do much.  I think this is a really nice goal for me to put some energy into this show and creating something I have never seen before.

I am about 23 weeks out from that and have decided to make a new physique shape for my show. Something I’ve never done before.  It’s a great challenge. I’ve picked out my wardrobe for the show so it has to be spot on.

I spent yesterday digging through years of progress pics. I decided that I do have more skills, more muscle, more knowledge, more information than any of those days before. I’m capable of digging in and creating a new improved process to get to my next set of goals. My journey in pics showed me so much and inspired me to remember where I came from.

My point of this blog is to just give you some real life.. not every fitness guru is showing you the reality of what being fit is. It does flow and sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes health and life issues get in the way. Sometimes we are on fire and sometimes we are not motivated.  We have to figure out how to create the life we want and still achieve our dreams.  I love the idea of always documenting our journey.  It takes very little time, but it’s so powerful to see changes!!

If you need help getting your plan set up.. please check out my site or reach out to me. My page is http://www.sleekbodyonline.com